Stasia's Place Of Grace

Monday, August 12, 2002

 

Un-Guilty Pleasures

We had thunderstorms all afternoon and evening. In need of comfort tonight, I retired to the recliner with a cheap white Zinfandel, an Amy's Organic Spinach Pizza, and two foreign films on DVD - "Amelie" and "Bread And Tulips". They're similar in that both speak to listening to that inner voice that asks, "Are you really happy with your life? If not, what changes can you make?" Both explore the journeys of women who take detours in pursuit of happiness. Both are full of joy and are beautiful films. I liked "Bread And Tulips" best because of its innocence.

Sometimes, especially when it's raining and you aren't feeling your best, you just need to spend some time on small indulgences - a cozy chair, comfort food, and a beautiful book or movie.

I enjoy watching subtitled films because they force me to pay attention. The scenery, costumes, sets - all are just a wee bit off from "generic mid-America" where I live. The sound of the foreign languages draws me in, especially when I catch a word with which I'm familiar. Having to read the subtitles prevents me from missing certain camera angles or facial expressions that I wouldn't catch if I were just "listening" to a movie, as I often do when I knit.

But nothing will prevent me from finishing these Lorna's Laces socks in the "Vera" colorway, so tonight I practiced knitting while not looking - and it worked. As I learned a new skill, I don't feel like the evening was a complete, self-indulgent waste of time. (It wouldn't have been, anyway, because experiencing these films was a great use of my time... but I seem to have an over-guilty conscience if I'm not productive at all times! Quite a silly attitude I'm trying to get over!)

Today I...

Renewed my driver's license at the DMV. Thank goodness I like to read everything including signs and, unlike the 40 or so people in line, saw the "Express Line" for renewals. I went straight to the front and was called immediately - no waiting. A quick vision test, a quick photo (that actually came out all right!) and I was out of there in less than 15 minutes. Only had time to knit half a round of the socks. What luck!

Took Russian-language Milwaukee paper from Polish Deli to Post Office to mail to Belarussian friend. Sent an answering machine to Jeff's parents so that Jeff's grandfather can leave messages for them; sent a "Lilo And Stitch" book to Jeff's sister, Becky. Had to get all the weird stamps hand-cancelled while there, so that they can be returned for Jeff's collection. Post Office lady was very understanding.

Took flyers for sale of motorcycle to a couple of local shops with bulletin boards.

Slept in afternoon after the driving and because of approaching storms (they put my system on the fritz). Dogs, all scared of storms, snuggled in bed.

Knit to point of ribbing on both Lorna's socks.

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Last night there was a gorgeous sunset. I was in my jammies after a hot bath, ready for bed quite early, but I wanted to get a better view so I went out on the deck. The twilight was lovely - the lightning bugs were glowing in my newly-watered (and unsuccessfully weeded) garden, the katydids and crickets were beginning to chirp, and mourning doves were "hoo-hoo"-ing in the pines.

I glanced toward the street and saw that no cars or people were about, so ventured off the deck and closer to the garden. The evening was cool after a hot day, and it was that magical time of evening when the sun's rays are gone, but there's still a sort of glow in the open meadows, though the woods are beginning to darken quickly. I expected to see pixies at every turn, and was startled by a cottontail darting in front of me, his white tailpuff flashing brightly in the muted glow of light reflected in the sky but dimmed down on Earth.

The overgrown grass path around the yard lured me on, and I walked the perimeter of the prairie, sure that I'd be screened from the neighbors by the trees... and actually not much caring if they saw me out walking in my pajamas, touching the waving grasses as I passed. The gorgeousness of it all would make up for any embarrassment should I be noticed, but they were all inside. They didn't know what they were missing!

I could only move very slowly yesterday, but on this walk that was a blessing, as I noticed grasses with ripened seed ready to fall and late-blooming prairie flowers, moths and fireflies. I stopped often to turn and note the progress of the sky's changing colors, and was reminded that humans will never be able to duplicate Nature's awesome palette.

I have learned that being forced to slow down is not always something to get upset about, but can be a wonderful gift for which I can be most thankful. How much I would miss, if I were able to pass things by as quickly as I once did... wonderful foreign films, and evening walks through our tiny wood and prairie. What blessings!

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